My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
