Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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