It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
