Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
