can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
