Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
