4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
