so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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