Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
