The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
