This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
