there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
