just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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