My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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