Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
