No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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