Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
