I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The ass gains better be worth it
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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