do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
