Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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