yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
