what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
