I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
