Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
