my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
