So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
