do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
