I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dick very happy bro
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
