how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
