And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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