Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
