she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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