Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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