Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
