that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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