Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This is the high leading the old right now
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
