distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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