It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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