Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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