Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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