i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
