then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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