Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
