Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
