Im at strip club and am horny
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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