I'm so fucking centered right now
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Mom said you looked used
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
