beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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