So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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