didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
