So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
