you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
