Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
