i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
