Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
