8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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